Your ex-boyfriend was tall, dark, handsome and, naturally, a complete assh*le.
So, somewhere between 22 and 24, you faked self-respect and started dating someone who could offer a little more stability and emotional support.
The new boyfriend is a perfect fit to the basic criteria you once outlined with all the essentials: beautiful, smart, abs and hates cats.
But, he’s oh-so-overwhelmingly predictable.
And part of you desperately craves the one thing your old, dysfunctional relationship had in abundance: mind-blowing sex.
There was something about those aggressive urges and impulsive orgasms that spoke to your libido and taunted your inner bad girl.
And you can’t help but ask yourself, “Why doesn’t my new boyfriend act the same? Am I too fat? Am I bad in bed? Is he lacking testosterone?”
But, this new guy is perfect. And beautiful. And good with kids, which totally causes an ovary explosion.
I can get used to the non-impromptu car sex, right? Wrong. Because my mind always drifts back to those idle, glorious Tuesdays of sex du soleil, when I did tricks that would put acrobats to shame.
The dilemma? The perfect guy has the not-so-perfect sex drive. Now, I’m sure I’m not the only girl with a healthy sex drive who has found herself between a rock and a hard place.
And hopefully the rest of you share some of the following thoughts I have on dating a guy who is murdering your sexual spirit animal: